Here ya' gots'ta be able t'read some uh de stupidest
doodads ah' have eva' typed on some clunker screen. 'S coo', bro.
Mond uh January 2001:
January 1, 2001 - Mah' New Year's Resolushun
(New Millenium's fo' dat matter) be to be fat. Man!
January 2, 2001 - Enjoy some two on two
Gopalball an' then watch th' Chronicles.
January 3, 2001 - Gittin' honked at an'
flicked off while yer walkin' down 48th Street at 9:00 PM is fat.
January 4, 2001 - Bazooka kin be a replacement
fo' enny wo'd, especially "rend, cuss it all t' tarnation."
January 5, 2001 - A quite fun thin' t'do
is t'take yer digital camera t'some popular hangout, say Polar Ice, an'
take screen shots of ran'om varmints.
January 6, 2001 - As of today, ah can
start countin' down fum 200, which is how menny days is lef' until ah turn
sixteen, as enny fool kin plainly see.
January 7, 2001 - Not plum de New Yo'k
Giants, but da damn New Yo'k Ball Giants.
January 8, 2001 - Boandropy be a disease
in which some man dinks he be an ox. Slap mah fro!
January 9, 2001 - Cribflies hum in de
middle octave uh F, whereas ah' quack in de Higha' octave uh F@.
January 10, 2001 - As some new child fum
Co'ona stepped into our class, ah' took it downon mah'self t'ax' him "You's
went t'Co'ona, right? Did ya' know any Indians dat went dere?" Dose wuz
mah' fust wo'ds t'de great warrio'.
January 11, 2001 - ah' plan t'be some
kicka' in de NFL, and ah' gots'ta definitely not be Al Del Greco. 'S coo',
January 12, 2001 - ah' would likes t'say
Happy Birdday t'my moder, as well as Holmes Stern and Zack de la Rocha.
January 13, 2001 - Knock yo'self out wid
NyQuil, den ya' gots'ta sho' manly go t'Goose Land.
January 14, 2001 - "Seriously, who de
hell goes t'de grocery sto'e wid deir homey..." - Ronnie, some revolushunary
dinker, respondin' t'acts in Arizona. WORD!
January 15, 2001 - De next time ya' happen
t'eat food made by some sucka else, preferably at some restaurant, and
ya' do not finish yo' meal, tell de Plate Captain dat da damn food tasted
January 16, 2001 - A fun doodad t'do in
grocery sto'es be to wear some sheet bag upside yo' haid and shop. Jes
hang loose, brud.
January 17, 2001 - Progress Repo't, dig
dis: Can now place kick regulashun sized ball twenty yards. Duz not include
height uh de ball, which gots'ta be kep' confidential.
January 18, 2001 - "Yo! do ya' wants'
some Uruguay?" | "Nah, man, ya' kin gots it. Man!" | De sto'y uh Uruguay's
independence, acco'din' t'de quotes fum Argentina and Brazil.
January 19, 2001 - Afta' ya' snatch some
picture uh some random sucka' wid yo' digital camera at Walgreen's, listen
in t'deir announcements/advertisements dat lin'a' in deir loudraper, dig
dis: "If ya' is takin' pictures wid some digital camera. WORD!.."
January 20, 2001 - A'cuz ah' dun did absolutely
nodin' today, ah' duzn't real gots de fluida t'dink down uh a joke.
January 21, 2001 - "Gawd, ah' saw dat
goat so's much upside de summer. Ah be baaad..." Johnny Cloud, pun master.
Ah be baaad...
January 22, 2001 - Habitual downright
walkin' be Darren-likes.
January 23, 2001 - Instead uh tryin' t'hide
while takin' pictures uh random sucka's, run down t'dem and snatch pictures
while dey is lookin' at ya'.
January 24, 2001 - While wakin' by de
only oda' Sunil at Mountain Pointe, ah' decided t'say "Hey Jollyman Sunil"
only t'hear him respond "Hey Jollyman Sunil."
January 25, 2001 - De Nerd Club be de
club uh de future. Look fo' clones at oda' high farms.
January 26, 2001 - Drinkin' tea and feedin'
da bud crumpets usin' some Japanese tea set while discussin' de Pible (Nerd
Club sto'yscribblin') be kind'a...goatish. Lop some boogie.
Check back every day fo' anoda' stupid dought.
Man! If ya' wanna yell at me, please drow yo' comments here.