Mond uh June 2000:

• June 1, 2000 - Cookin' Ramen noodles in de middle uh de night looks fun, but dere's absolutely no point when ya' gots Pop Tarts dat wuz impo'ted fum Califo'nia in yo' pantry. Slap mah fro! 
• June 2, 2000 - A 30 GB hard roll be only real 28.5 GB. Stupid co'po'ate, bre'd-makin', "Let's cut dem less dan whut we advertise," half-mental schemes. 
• June 3, 2000 - ah' had been sick fo' some while (about some week ago) and ah' could barely swallow, so cut me some slack, Jack. ah' ended down callin' mah' homey and he said he dun didn't wanna rap t'me cuz' his swallowin' hurt him. WORD! He den blamed me fo' de problem and da damn hung down. His den changed his answerin' machine t'aggravate me mo'e. "Hey Jollyman ya''ve reached me but I'm real sick. Ya' know? [Insert cough type rapin'] Dat be probably why ah' dun didn't pick down de phone. [Losin' de cough type rap] Holla' and maybe I'll pick down." 
• June 4, 2000 - A'cuz yesterday's dought wuz so's long, ah' have decided t'keep dis sho't and sweet, dig dis: Poop. Jes hang loose, brud. 
• June 5, 2000 - Haidless to'sos, such sweet so'row, so cut me some slack, Jack. 
• June 6, 2000 - Varicose veins, such sweet so'row, so cut me some slack, Jack. 
• June 7, 2000 - ah' wanna cut a belated moment uh silence t'all de Americans in D-Day who fought fo' prejudice t'defeat prejudice. 
• June 8, 2000 - Today shall be da damn day uh de grazin' tree frog, as it be he who spawned da damn verbs in our present dicshunaries. 
• June 9, 2000 - Dere gots'ta be no joke today, as today be a real special day (o' ah' have absolutely no jokes t'spit out). 
• June 10, 2000 - While tryin' t'retrieve yo' swim wear fum outside, do not pace straightfo'ward and bounce off some glass doo' cuz' it be closed. 
• June 11, 2000 - De Blair Witch Project ain't scary unless ya' gots some dark hallway right outside yo' room. WORD! De Blair Witch Project be not funny unless everyone be scared t'walk waaay down dat hallway t'turn on de light. Man! 
• June 12, 2000 - Raz'tus sucks. (Original Joke, dig dis: A'cuz absolutely nodin' funny happened today, ah' gots'ta say sump'n fum some few days back. Ya' know? If Raz'tus Cloud marries Summa' Riehle (which be a Mission, dig dis: Impossible - 3 pendin' sto'y line), Summer's dojigger would den become Summa' Cloud. As Raz'tus says, "get wid de times man," and suggests t'make it Summa' Riehle Cloud which be a lot betta' dan it's ho'rid predecesso'.) 
• June 13, 2000 - Raz'tus sucks. (Original Joke, dig dis: Acco'din' t'John, ah' wuz supposed t'have nine fin'ers by mo'nin'. But, hey, ah' still gots ten. 'S coo', bro. Hmmm, maybe Raz'tus plum can't keep down his promises o' maybe he plum can't do such some din' (truly dis be de only oda' Mission, dig dis: Impossible - 3 pendin' sto'y line). Dat's all fo' today. Slap mah fro!) 
• June 14, 2000 - Darren says, "I duzn't likes de sound uh Bree Nakamura o' Darren Buxbaum. WORD!" Well Darren, youse lucky cuz' ya' won't see dose dojiggers on some legal fo'm. WORD! 
• June 15. 2000 - I'm actually quite so'ry if ah' hurt any sucka's feelin's in de past few days so's I gots'ta keep mah' moud shut afta' I say dis, dig dis: Fat. Man! 
• June 16, 2000 - ah' told ya' ah' would keep quiet, so's I's gots'ta be. 
• June 17, 2000 - De beggars in Mexico is smart. Man! 
• June 18, 2000 - ah' wuz actually dinkin' hard today about how I-15 hits I-5 even dough dey is supposed t'be parallel. Den ah' remembered I-10 and I-8. 
• June 19, 2000 - If ya' is of fo'eign descent and ya' do not know yo' native language, ah' have some supa fine game ya' kin play wid some sucka else (preferably yo' broda' o' sista' who also duz not know de native language). Switch off sayin' wo'ds fum yo' native language until some fool be stumped. See how many ya' kin go drough. Lop some boogie. 
• June 20, 2000 - While Raz'tus wuz at wo'k, some little kid shouted 'racoon' phrases at him. WORD! Dis joke be intended fo' indians only, preferably fat ones. 
• June 21, 2000 - Titan A.E. contains animated nudity, viewa' discreshun advised. 
• June 22, 2000 - Deploy as some sentry gun. 'S coo', bro. 
• June 23, 2000 - Acco'din' t'Darren, ah' updated dis too late, so's technically dis be de joke fo' de day uh June 24. But cuz' I wanna keep dis consistent, dis be de joke fo' June 23. 
• June 24, 2000 - While ah' wuz ponderin' where t'wo'k, ah' decided I'll probably wo'k at McDonalds (I's gots'ta be unda' a restraint o'da' to specify which one). 
• June 25, 2000 - You's know it's de humidity datwastes ya'. 
• June 26, 2000 - Uncontrollably, ah' ran around Wuzhin'ton, D.C., shoutin', "Dis ain't some barn. 'S coo', bro." 
• June 27, 2000 - Uncontrollably, ah' went t'sleep in Wuzhin'ton, D.C. 
• June 28, 2000 - Today ah' planned some city dat would prospuh' as years t'come. De city, New Fat City, be t'consist uh five bo'fats, dig dis: Fadattan, Brookfat, De Fat, Fats, and Faten Island. 
• June 29, 2000 - ah' dought real hard today and ah' wuz dinkin' if ah' should change mah' city dojigger t' Darrentown. 'S coo', bro. 
• June 30, 2000 - Fo' some reason sucka's is sayin' dat mah' "great city" be plum a rip off uh some city called "New Yo'k City. Slap mah fro!" Dey even said da damn city gots five bo'fats also but dey call dem "bo'oughs." Now whut kind'a honkyfool would mosey on down up wid dat?